A Confusing Confession
by sherlollyshipperalltheway
Summary: Sherlock confesses his love for Molly, but says that they can't be together. WARNING: Major character death. Very sad Sherlolly oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock.**

It was Saturday night and Molly was sitting down to watch _The Proposal_ with a glass of red wine. It wasn't that she was lonely. Okay, maybe she was a little bit, but also she really liked spending time alone sometimes. The thing was it was becoming a Saturday night routine to sit at home alone and Molly wished that would change.

Suddenly, the person who Molly really wanted to spend her time with burst into her flat without knocking. "Sherlock!" Molly exclaimed, "You look horrible! What happened to you?" She looked him up and down, surveying the damage. He had three gashes on his head that were all dripping blood and there were pieces of glass sticking out of his arms. As he stumbled closer to her she noticed that his ankle was completely broken. Molly started reaching for her mobile to call for help, but Sherlock waved his arms in protest even as he obviously struggled to breathe.

"You don't want me to call for help? Sherlock are you insane? You are losing so much blood. Can you even speak?" Molly asked, extremely alarmed.

"Yes," rasped Sherlock. He coughed. "I have to tell you…" He began to double over in pain so Molly helped him to a chair and knelt before him.

"What do you want to tell me? What happened? What's wrong."

Sherlock waved his hand to dismiss her persistent questions. "I'm fine. Molly," he took her small hand in his large bloody one and continued. "Molly, you have always been there for me whenever I needed a friend or a confidante or someone to solve crimes with. You were there for me before the fall and you opened your home to me whenever I needed it when I was 'dead' and I am so grateful. I have watched you with all those men like Tom and Jim, and I always wanted to steal you away for myself. Oh Molly, I was so foolish. I thought that I could never be with you with all the danger. I thought that you would be a distraction but I was so wrong. It turns out the thought of you was what has been keeping me alive for years."

Molly cut him off. "Are you saying that you-"

"Molly I love you. I have loved you for years. I know I was never the right man for you and I never could be. I am too selfish and I focus too much on my cases, but I know that I have needed you these past years and I wish I had told you sooner. Then you wouldn't have spent so much time thinking I was just using you. All I really wanted was to be around you. Half the time I didn't need to be in the lab for a case, but I had to see you." Molly giggled through her tears as he spoke.

"Really? You want me?"

"Molly, it has always been you. But I have to go now." Sherlock slowly got himself out of the chair and started for the door.

"Wait! Sherlock! I want to be with you too!" Molly called as she got up and ran to him.

Tears were welling up in Sherlock's eyes. "I know Molly. You have such a kind heart and I feel privileged to in it."

"Sherlock, does this mean we can be together?" Molly asked timidly.

He turned away. "No Molly, we can't. Not right now."

"When?" she asked, feeling her own eyes fill with tears.

Sherlock opened the door and as he stood in the doorway he turned around. "I will always be with you, Molly." And then he was gone. Molly ran out after him, but he was nowhere to be found. It was as if he had vanished.

Molly walked back up to her flat alone and wiped the tears off her face. She knew that if Sherlock went to all the emotional trouble of confessing his love to her and then telling her they couldn't be together, that there had to be a good reason. She just didn't know what that reason was. Although she was still upset that he had to leave, she couldn't help smiling a little as she thought about the fact that _he was in love with her_.

ooo

About a half hour later, Molly's mobile started buzzing. When she saw that it was Mary she picked it up.

"Hey Mary, do you know what happened to Sherlock? He was just over at my flat and he looked like someone beat him up with something made of glass."

There was a long pause before Mary replied. "Molly, there's been an accident."

"Yeah that was pretty clear by the bruises and his ankle," said Molly.

Another pause. "Uh, Molly, about two hours ago Sherlock was hit by a car. John and I came as fast as we could, but," her voice cracked, "he was already almost gone. Since John isn't doing okay at all, I have been with him this whole time, and I only just now got a chance to call you." Mary paused for a response.

"No. Sherlock can't be dead," Molly declared. "He was at my flat half and hour ago. He looked horrible, but he definitely wasn't dead."

"Molly, I know this is really difficult, but you've got to understand. Sherlock passed away about an hour and half ago in the hospital-"

"But I saw him!" interrupted Molly. Her voice softened. "He told me he loved me."

Molly heard Mary take a sharp breath. "Molly, you can come down to the hospital and see for yourself. He is really gone this time, but before he um, passed, he gave me something to give to you." Mary heard a thud through the phone as Molly dropped her mobile on the floor and dashed out the door.

ooo

Molly stared at the very real body of the love of her life. With her pathology experience she could obviously tell that he had been dead for a few hours. A hot tear fell onto his cold hand as she bent over his body. She looked at his face, and saw the absence of life. But then she saw something else. There was the slightest hint of a satisfied smile on his lips. A wave of understanding fell over Molly. _Some part of his soul couldn't move on without telling me that he loved me and now that he has, he can be at peace._

"Oh, Molly," said the small voice of Mary from the doorway. Molly was then enveloped into a tight hug from Mary and they both began to cry again. When the pair stopped sniffling they broke apart.

"What was it you said Sherlock wanted to give me?" asked Molly.

"Oh right," said Mary, wiping her eyes. She reached into the pocket of her sweatshirt. What she pulled out surprised Molly. It was a small brown leather-bound notebook.

"I've seen him holding that before," said Molly, taking the book from Mary's shaking hands.

"Me too," called John softly from the doorway. He walked closer and took his wife's hand. "I always thought it was just for taking notes, but of course he didn't need to take notes. I guess I never really thought about it, but I never expected it to be, well, see for yourself."

"We'll leave you alone with him for awhile," said Mary as she led John back out to the waiting room.

Molly sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed, opened the book and began to read the first page.

 _My Dearest Molly,_

 _If you are reading this, I have most certainly perished unexpectedly. That is why I have kept this book with me at all times. I wasn't strong enough to tell you how I felt while I was still alive and for that I apologize. I hope you will forgive me. I know that I was never a great friend or the boyfriend you wanted me to be, but I hope that the contents of this book will help you to understand the depth of my feelings for you and that you will never forget me.  
_ _I love you Molly Hooper.  
_ _Forever yours,_

 _William Sherlock Scott Holmes_

Molly wiped her tears away before they could stain the page. She took a deep breath and began to flip through the rest of the book. There were countless apologies for each of the times he had hurt her feelings or betrayed her. Molly's favorite pages, however, were the ones where recounted their various adventures and added commentary about the ridiculousness of the clients. The pages didn't dwell on the fact that he had never accepted her offers for coffee and dinner or asked her out himself. Instead the book celebrated a love that would never be, but would always be remembered. "Of course I forgive you, you idiot," whispered Molly through her tears.

ooo

Molly Hooper never married, but she did adopt two children and she named them Scott and Wilma Hooper-Holmes. When her kids asked why they didn't have a father, Molly told them that the man who she considered their father had passed away, but she told them tales of Sherlock's cases and his bravery. When they asked where their father was now, she only pointed to their hearts. "Sherlock is always with you, my darlings."

ooooo

Hi there lovely reader! Thank you for checking out this horribly sad story of mine. I have been having a weird week and this just had to come out of my head. Something happier (probably) will be up soon :)


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